


It's There

by AbandonedSock



Series: 1,000 Followers Celebration [2]
Category: The 100 (TV), The 100 Series - Kass Morgan
Genre: Angst, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Tumblr Prompt, saying i love you without actually saying it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-06
Updated: 2017-10-06
Packaged: 2019-01-09 15:58:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12279774
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AbandonedSock/pseuds/AbandonedSock
Summary: ‘Together’‘I need you’‘I can’t do this without you'In some way, they’ve been expressing their feelings to each other for so long in countless ways.





	It's There

**Author's Note:**

> Based on the Tumblr prompt 'Would it be possible to write a Bellarke fic about how they say I love you with out actually saying it?'
> 
> Part of my 1,000 Followers Celebration Prompt Series.

Bellamy is glad for this peaceful moment. The day’s adventure had definitely tired him out as well as given him several myocardial infarctions. Peering back, he eyed the bullet hole in the truck’s windshield. The very same truck that had almost ran him over moments ago if it wasn’t for Clarke’s quick thinking to slam on the brakes. ‘ _That was close_.’ If he was honest, the entire situation was close. He had almost lost his life and most importantly, he had almost lost Clarke too. Not to mention they did lose a barrel of hydrazine. Whether or not Raven could do anything with it now was something they’ll just have to find out. They couldn’t give up now, not after everything they’ve been through to get this fuel here. He wouldn’t give up and neither would Clarke. Speaking of which, the said blonde was approaching him now at the shoreline where he stood.As he felt her presence emerge in his peripheral, an audible sigh left her throat.

“Just spoke to Raven. She doesn’t want us chancing bringing the fuel onto a boat and navigating it to the island when it’s almost nightfall. We can camp out here and get going as soon as the sun comes up.”

He nodded. Alie’s laboratory was visible as it sat amidst the body of water before them. It made sense. Rowing to the island blind with the hydrazine was a recipe for disaster. They couldn’t risk losing more fuel than they already have.

He heard another sigh escape her lips.

“So, are you going to go with us?”

He blinked in confusion without breaking eye contact with the horizon.

“Why wouldn’t I?”

She shifted the sand beneath her feet.

“Well, you were pretty upset about Octavia earlier. I wasn’t sure if you wanted to go back or not.” She said quietly.

There was something more laced within her words, but he couldn’t place it. Either way, her statement had sent his mind reeling back to the last moment his sister and him had shared.

‘ _Why do you think you’re still alive?_ ’

Everything about that, from her words to her tone, had cut him deep. There he was trying to mend what had broken, like a pathetic fool, and she had completely torn him down. Protecting his sister was everything. It was his reason to live. It was why he sacrificed so much to come down to this radiation-soaked planet… and now she didn’t want to see him, hear him, be near him. He was the reason Lincoln was dead. Who was he now? What was his reason now?

A clearing throat broke his thoughts. She was waiting for his response.

“I uh… well, there’s nothing I can do now that would make it better. I’m not in a rush to go back just yet.”

She seemed to agree and said,

“I’ll let Roan know we’re going to need some fire wood.”

* * *

 

The sun had finally set, confirming that the decision to not head off ‘til morning was a wise one. It was pitch black except for the small light of the fire between the three as they sat on the beach.

Talk between them had been scarce. Most of the conversation happening between Clarke and Roan as they hashed out possibilities and strategies. Bellamy was oddly quiet as Clarke seemed to note, but didn’t bring attention it. He had been sitting back against the side of the truck staring blankly at the fire for longer than Clarke thought normal. Of course she had a pretty good guess at what was eating at him. The Ice King seemed to notice his silence as well and took it as a cue.

“Well,” getting up, “I’m going to get some shut eye.”

“Won’t you be cold being away from the fire?” Clarke inquired at his retreating form.

Roan turned his head and gave her a look.

Clarke shook her head slightly, “Oh, right. _Ice_ Nation.”

With a smirk, the larger man disappeared behind the rover nearby. The sudden realization that they were now alone struck her immediately as she chanced a glance at her partner. Bellamy was still in the same position breathing slow and steady.

Without missing a beat, Clarke rose from her spot and strode over to sit next to him against the truck. Bellamy inhaled and seemed to break away from the spell he was in momentarily, shifting slightly.

Together, they took in the many sparks rising from the flames in silence for what felt like hours until Clarke finally spoke up.

“You know it’s not your fault, right?”

Bellamy’s eyes flickered over to her. She doesn’t have to be specific. He knows what she means.

“I don’t know that.” he whispers, pain etched into his tone. Clarke reaches for his hand and shifts closer.

“It’s _not_. You didn’t pull the trigger.”

“But I could have stopped Pike before that.”

Clarke stared into his orange-hued brown orbs. “Bellamy…”

“Whether or not she blames me for his death is besides the point.” His voice strengthens, “I’ve already lost her. I don’t know what to do anymore, Clarke. I feel so lost.”

He stared down at their intertwined fingers as if they would hold the answers. Clarke couldn’t take this anymore. She hated when he was like this and how he couldn’t see beyond his sister’s point of view. She squeezed their hands and leaned in closer to his ear.

“You are more than what your sister thinks of you, Bellamy. And whether you or her thinks otherwise, you did not kill Lincoln. Pike did. He pulled the trigger. He made the choice, not you. You’re a leader. We couldn’t have made it this far without you. I wouldn’t have made it this far without you. I see you work hard every day to ensure that we survive the next. All of our people need you, especially now. And I need you too.” She whispered. “Eventually, she’ll come around and see how special you truly are.”

Bellamy stayed quiet with eyes cast downward, unsure of what to make of this. A moment later, he turns and locks his stare with hers, seemingly convinced that what she said was nothing more than for show.

“Clarke, you don’t have to say things like that just to make me feel better.”

Slightly taken aback, she says sternly, “I’m saying it because it’s the truth, Bellamy.”

They’re inches apart. Clarke could still feel the waft of doubt linger on the boy in front of her. “I wish you wouldn’t be so hard on yourself, Bell. If only you could see what we all see… What I see.” Raising her free hand, she brushed his cheek lightly. His gaze like glass she thinks, fragile and close to shattering, but still sturdy.

“And what do you see, Clarke?” He asked slowly.

She paused for a moment, giving thought to her next words.

“I see… a man. A man who at first wanted to make sure everyone was afraid of him. I believed that persona for a little while. I thought he only cared about himself. But eventually, I saw that it was actually him who was afraid. He was afraid because he cared. And time and time again, he’s put his own life ahead of others, even those he doesn’t know. Sometimes he can be stubborn and frustrating,” Clarke chuckled lightly. Bellamy’s mouth quirking upward and his eyes softening, “but that’s a part of who he is; someone who never gives up to protect the people he loves. A hero.”

Bellamy winces at that word. Clarke catches this and places both hands on the sides of his face.

“A _hero_.” She emphasizes.

He opens his mouth as if to retort, but her steely expression stops him. Instead, he slides his arms around her form and squeezes her against him. Clarke easily molds and adjusts herself to clutch around his shoulders.

“Thank you.” She hears his low voice whisper. Small fingers thread themselves through black curls as Clarke sighs shakily to herself.

“Bellamy,” she starts, “I…”

A pause.

He waits a few moments before pulling away to stare into her blue eyes once more. It’s there on her face. It’s written in her soulful orbs. It’s etched on the crease of her brow. It’s engraved on the touch of her fingers on his skin. It’s woven into the tone of her voice. It emanates from the warmth of her body. He feels it everywhere. She doesn’t have to say anything more.

Before Clarke could decide to brush it off or say the actual words, he responds.

“Me too.”

The corners of her mouth suddenly move upward after the realization dawns. To be truthful, she isn’t very surprised. In some way, they’ve been expressing their feelings to each other for so long in countless ways.

She told him when she said she needed him as they sat in front of the tree before Dax’s corpse.

She told him with a hug after realizing she didn’t seal his fate by closing the dropship door.

He told her with a place of his heavy hand over hers when he decided to bear the burden of Mt. Weather with her.

He told her when he begged her to stay after returning home that same fateful day.

_‘Together’_

_‘I need you’_

_‘I can’t do this without you’_

Neither one can count them all, but both never doubt its veracity.

A full, content, smile stretches across Bellamy’s face, mirroring hers. There’s so much to talk about, but it could wait.

“We should get some rest, Clarke.”

Nodding, she slouches back and rests herself against his chest, her head under his chin as his arms hold her close

And for now, it’s enough.


End file.
